


Take Away the Load

by LostCauses (Anteros)



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Chapter 80, Gen, M/M, eruri - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-18
Updated: 2016-04-18
Packaged: 2018-06-03 00:26:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 523
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6589324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anteros/pseuds/LostCauses
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Levi lifts the burden of decision from Erwin's shoulders. </p><p>Written in response to the heartbreaking <a href="http://www.mangafreeonline.com/shingeki_no_kyojin/c080/">Chapter 80</a>.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Take Away the Load

It pains him that, when all is said and done, he could not do more. Humanity’s Strongest. The title has always been an irritation; now it mocks him mercilessly. What use is all that strength when he could not save his soldiers, his friends, his new recruits, when he cannot save Erwin? He would willingly give his life a thousand times over to save Erwin, but it’s simply not enough. 

Levi knows the weight of Erwin’s burden, but he does not have the strength to lift it. He knows how it has ground him down, bowing his shoulders, pushing him mercilessly into the mire of self-loathing and regret.

Levi has seen it in the office door that remained resolutely locked. _Go away Levi, I’m busy._ He has seen it in Erwin’s back when he turned away from his caresses. _Leave me alone Levi, I’m not in the mood._ In the dead blank gaze, when death appeared the easier choice. _I’m fine Levi, just tired._

But Levi has always been a stubborn little shit. Kenny was right in that. He refused to go away, he did not leave Erwin alone and he always knew when he was not “fine”. He did what little he could, he picked the lock of Erwin’s office, placed food in front of him and sat obstinately by until he ate. He lay still and silent by Erwin’s side, listening quietly until his breath evened out and the tension ebbed away, waiting patiently for Erwin to accept his touch. But the burden Erwin’s carries, the dream that will not leave him, is his and his alone and Levi cannot lift it. Levi who never even knew his father’s name; how could he possibly understand? How could he lift that weight of expectation, the burden of a father’s dreams from the shoulders of his son? It’s the one thing Levi could not do.

He will never regret the choice he made to follow Erwin, to lay his life before his cause, but it would be a lie to say he has _no_ regrets. Levi regrets every life he could not save. And more than that, more than anything, he regrets that he could not lift that burden.

Except maybe he can. If this is how it ends, then so be it. But maybe there is one last thing he can do. Maybe all he needs to do to take away the load is to shoulder the choice. Levi has chosen once before, swiftly, decisively, and he can do it again. Maybe that is all it will take to save Erwin.

Levi drops to his knees, heedless of the carnage and the chaos that surrounds them.

“You have fought well. It’s only thanks to you that we’ve come this far. I will make the choice, give up on that dream and die, lead those new recruits into hell. And I will take down the Beast Titan”

And Erwin is smiling, eyes clear and blue and cloudless, the load has lifted. Erwin smiles and Levi knows he was right. Something breaks inside him as the dead weight of it settles onto his heart.


End file.
